Unusual self care practices

What can be so unusual about self care? The answer totally stands out from the traditional idea of self care which involves spa treatments, meditation classes, yoga, gym memberships or “protecting your energy” by staying away from negativity. In today’s post, I explore a four-fold approach to everyday life that might freshen your perspective on what it means to care for yourself on a deeper level and value yourself in a way that prepares you to face the battles of life.

  1. Getting to know yourself

Staying open to re-discovering who you are and what is important to you, in my books, is the highest expression of self care. Sometimes we tend to blindly accept certain behavioural patterns or mindset habits that we might have subconsciously picked up over the years, some of which might be unwanted or even toxic. Having a genuine sense of life-long curiosity towards why we operate the way we do without criticising ourselves is not just a path to become our own best friend but also a way to show ourselves that we care enough about ourselves to invest time for it.

2. Showing who you are

Showing who you are includes not just being vulnerable but also about confronting your overly judgemental and cruel aspects of your personality. Nothing screams self care as much as showing up as your authentic, awesome self. Regular self-inquiry aimed at improving your alignment to your core values and your authentic essence might seem like a lot of work. However, it is in the process of humbly showing up as your ENTIRE, gracious self that you experience the utmost freedom of self love and inner expression.

3. Going with the flow

Non-resistance to the flow of life significantly reduces that proportion of human suffering which is self-inflicted. Going with the flow doesn’t mean giving up or not having any goals in life. Being flexible with our plans, NOT unconsciously expecting people to fill previously-abandoned roles in our life, giving other people space to be themselves and staying open to miracles are excellent examples of self care and preservation. The concept of viewing life as an open-ended question and embracing uncertainty allows you to believe in your divine power of creation, sustenance, safety and resilience.

4. Empathising with others

When I started viewing Empathy as a self care ritual, my life instantly became reprogrammed to attract love, peace and conscious connections. Although empathising with others might hardly seem related to our own wellbeing, this practice cultivates the habit of valuing one’s own inner peace over mundane dramas. It helps to know that every single person in this world has their own unique journey filled with joy, pleasure, suffering and other types of karmic repercussions. Only someone who genuinely values and cares for themselves with full understanding of their own power to love, forgive and connect can actually empathise with others. This practice has the power to transmute our feelings of greed, jealousy, shame and hurt that we constantly experience into love, joy, belongingness, gratitude and service.

A gentle approach to self improvement

Why is it that sometimes we can be overly critical of ourselves and other times, we are so shy to call out ourselves on our nonsense? It is so interesting to me to see how much of a double standard we impose not just on others but also on ourselves. In my opinion, while the most obvious forms of self love garner attention, the subtle forms of self love often go unnoticed. However, what I am about to discuss is less related to self love and more related to integrity. I am not referring to how you show up in the world, no. It is different. I feel that it has more to do with how you show up to yourself. “And why does that matter?” , you might ask me. Well, we owe it to ourselves to not be afraid of striving to improve as a person, every single day. We owe it to ourselves to want to be better humans. “Isn’t accepting all parts of you is what self love is all about?”, someone might ask me. True, absolutely! I am all about it! Compassion starts with self but the reluctance towards self improvement or change of any kind in the pretext of practicing self love is what I intend to discuss here.

I am not trying to say that we must yell at every person who doesn’t want to follow the path of self improvement. Change is very hard for humans. No, no, let me rephrase that. Change is very hard for human Ego. We, humans are definitely capable of positive change. Many might disagree with me. We are a part of this wonderful planet and the fundamental nature of a human is to love and be love. When we are born, we are this cute little blob of giggling, hairless, pure being, with heart full of wonder and good intentions for others. When we start to get into the conditioned environment around us with the help of our parents, teachers and relatives, we start to very quickly mimick and learn from others in order to adapt to this life on Earth. With time, the Ego develops a pretty good model of how to behave in order to survive in this crazy place. While our Ego is basically trying to protect us, it’s no surprise that Ego can cloud not just our world view but also our perception of how we must operate on a daily basis and that is why we need to self-assess gently.

Self-assessment can feel like self criticism but when you do it with love, you literally soothe your crying baby, your Ego. Over the years, I have had countless moments when I have said to myself, “Girl, nope, you can do better” and “Girl, this totally contradicts what you preach and it’s time to make amends”. It was not easy and there were several years when I was pampering this stubborn child within and covering my act with a label of Self love. I guess, for me personally, there came a point in my life when I stopped caring about others but I started to drive that energy inwards and care about what I think about myself more. This was a game-changer for me and perhaps, some people out there could also relate to it when I say we often say we don’t care about others’ opinion of us but secretly we obsess over every little detail. I did for a longest time of my life. When I drove that attention inwards, I started to see all of my “ugly” or might I say, dysfunctional coping mechanisms I had developed over the years which I had labelled as self love. This realization liberated me in a way that initially made me pass a high level of judgement on myself. However, thanks to all the wonderful resources out there, I learnt how to work through them with love and to continue to be open to the process of self-assessment without being hard on myself.

To self-assess gently, we must first address the thought that often comes up in this context: “Something is wrong with me”. Believe it or not, it is possible to change without being your worst enemy of all, your inner critic. There is a very fine line between feeling inadequate and feeling accelerated towards levelling-up your game. That very fine line is made up of a solid foundation of self worth and an eye to identify opportunities for improvement. When your idea of self worth is tied to doing something and not doing something, it is problematic because this is where the thought of not being a perfect person comes from whenever you take any form of criticism. When you know that you are worthy regardless of how “perfect” your life is, a little bit of effort towards self improvement doesn’t feel so threatening. Recognizing the potential to improve in a certain aspect of your daily life is often initiated by inspiration. Inspiration can very quickly turn to envy and I believe that for however small amount of time, we do get inspired first and then it triggers our “Something is wrong with me” web of thoughts and this probably shuts down our desire to get inspired to actually do something about it. This source of inspiration doesn’t have to be external. You don’t have to adapt a morning routine from an Autobiography or a money-making strategy from a book on Business. You could! However, I believe the simplest of changes is the one motivated by intrinsic factors. Ironically, many of us are most stubborn to it as opposed to making changes that are driven by the lives of our favourite famous personalities.

The most important aspect of self-assessment gently is to get an understanding of who you are as a person. I am not talking about what you tell others who you are and what you THINK you are. Getting to know who you are is an undertaking that’s totally worthy of your time and this is going to take some deep journalling sessions. You tell people and you tell yourself what you like and what you despise but is that all true? How have you been feeling lately? Have your priorities changed? In this age of social media, it is very easy to lose touch with self awareness because we are constantly trying to project a version of ourselves that is deceptively convincing. Somewhere along this journey, we lose sight of the true version of ourselves and the version we project onto the outer world. All of this might sound like a lot of work but think about this: there is no person in this world you have been with long enough in this lifetime than YOU. I feel it makes total sense to constantly check in with your beautiful self and be your own accountability partner. If I buy a new iPhone, I would do everything in my power to maintain it to the extent I can. Human mind is a complicated and highly intellectual machine and while we operate it, we forget who we are. We think we are our mind. If we start approaching this as an act of maintenance and care with an open heart and love, the shame associated with the act of dissecting aspects of your living is dissipated.

When there is no fear or shame associated with change, introspection and improvement, the obstacles of self-assessment is removed. But the final component to this process is LOVE. When I say the word Love, I imply that there is no space for judgement. Whatever comes up when you review your life, it is important to treat it with love. What do I mean by that? I want you to use your power of love to heal whatever needs to be healed. You are a spirit having a human experience and the biggest tool in your toolbox is Love. Whatever comes up when you go through a review of your life, you accept and you look at them for what they are. If the moment calls for it, you can get excited about this new set of challenges. You are a well of infinite power and solutions. When you believe in your ability and inner wisdom to find solutions for literally anything conceivable. In your own eyes, you become invincible. You cry, you wipe your tears and then you tell yourself, ” Okay, this is new, let me find a solution for this”. You are the coach you get a lifetime access to and hence, no amount of self-assessment is going to scare you.

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Way out of darkness..

There are people who love motivational content and there are people who think motivation is overrated. Among those who love motivational content, there are some who respond to “tough love” or the so-called “if your ambition doesn’t keep you up all night, you are doing something wrong” approach. Many others respond to the method of acceptance and letting go approach that promotes healing. Few others respond to “to hell with those who disagree, I love myself, hashtag I-don’t-care” approach. Depending on the issue people deal with at that particular moment of their life, people resonate with different approaches. My encounters with people who don’t believe in investing in personal motivation have taught me a great deal about my own life. People who belong to this category whom I’ve met often tend to express their discontentment with life and humanity in general. They tell me, “Well, all is not well. People are dying and all of these positive messages are bullshit. People are mean. The world is cruel and nothing good ever happens to anyone, at least to me. What do I have to feel optimistic in life?”. I am no stranger to this thought-process.

My understanding is that no one refuses help unless they have been disappointed with the forms of help that often finds its way towards them. Even if you meet the most cynical person in this world, that person might probably remember a brighter time in that person’s life when the belief in the abundance of love and light was unshakeable. Over time, people build a protective shield around their hearts made of what they call “hard reality”. This grew to become an important lesson that was passed on to future generations. In my opinion, gradually. this worldview left our hearts a bit heavier than it was before at every step of evolution. Residual sadness morphed to take a permanent role in our lives and this fuelled the growth of denser emotions such as hatred, depression and anger that never left our system. This is the collective darkness of humanity.

When I began pondering over the collective darkness, I began to realise that there is something very important that the disappointed bunch tend to not realise. It is the fact that they are not alone at carrying this burden. There are people who project a fake life and there are people who project a life that they are constantly striving to live. Most of those who are into promoting a positive outlook of the world have darkness in them as well that they are constantly battling and healing from every day. Most “positive” people you would find right now online or offline are/have gone through difficult periods in their lives. We know how hard it is to get up in the morning and do something worthwhile when all they want to do is sit on the bed and sulk in sadness. So, all we all hypocrites? No, it is not what I am saying. The point I am trying to convey is that people who try to motivate you are not perfect. Everyone works through certain issues, overcomes obstacles, learns from them while they still struggle at something else.

Perhaps it would be useful for those who don’t believe in motivation to know that nobody is perfect. Each lesson that is shared with them by any influencer must be taken for what they are and it doesn’t have to be another excuse for you to feel bad about yourself or your coping strategies. It is possible to learn from others mistakes and lessons without them threatening your self image. Personally, as someone who is a motivational content creator, my intention is never to downplay others struggles and I can vouch for many who are like me that no one in this line of work usually wishes to rub their happiness on others faces. Most people think long and hard in extracting those lessons from their life that they learnt by experiencing a lot of pain and they want to provide value to the world by sharing their lessons. Life is a very individualistic journey yet we all have many things in common. Since each person’s awareness and perception is technically unique, any number of solutions to an issue can be possible and it is up to each of us to accept guidance that most resonates with us.

So, open your arms, give yourself a hug and don’t shy away from seeking help. Even if it might seem hard to believe, there is love and light in this world that is shining on our darkness right now. Let us collectively work through the darkness and find the light in each of us.

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Journalling- dig a little deeper..

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn” – Anne Frank.

For some reason, journalling feels laborious for many of us. Who has the time and patience to sit down, open a notebook and write down our feelings, am I right? Even if we bring ourselves to buy a journal and cultivate the habit of writing everyday, it often seems like a feat too unrealistic to fit into our routine. Either we are enthusiastic about writing for a day or two and then, we forget about journalling or we realise the amount of effort that is required and we say to ourselves, “Chuck it, I am just going to watch a couple episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and I am good to go”. I have been there. But let me tell you, I am alive now because of my habit of journalling and I have stuck with it long enough to tell you first-hand, how beneficial it can be for anyone. Journalling is for EVERYONE, is inexpensive and with exceptions, one of the most trustworthy source of solutions because when you journal, you look inward to seek answers. The best part is that there is no rule to journalling and it is all about you creating a safe space for your inner expression. Journalling is not just for navigating difficult times but also for finding out what you value the most in life and help shape your goals. You can use it to track your progress, develop habits and even, understand what kind of human relationships you wish to have in your life. It is also a wonderful tool to help reprogram limiting beliefs using affirmations and positive words. You can declutter your life with it, identify inner child wounds and access your inner wisdom to guide you into total acceptance of who you are and how others in your life behave around you.

I started journalling at the age of 9 or 10 originally to cultivate a habit of recording everything that happened in my life, just because someone at school told me it was a good habit to keep a diary. As a chubby lonely preteen, I derived so much joy from sharing my daily activities to my only friend, my journal. I spared no detail! I would make colorful little doodles in it with my favorite set of crayons and I used to carry it with me to every event and vacation. It was my priced possession! During my late teens, my purpose of using a journal evolved from merely record keeping to finding an emotional release for my moody days. I would write everything I felt on a piece of paper, read it once or twice and then, tear it up and throw it in the bin. Hailing from an Indian household, journalling was my only way of seeking therapy and finding peace during my dark times. With time, I started to get creative with my journalling habits. I was a very indecisive teenager and I used to ask questions to dissect situations. From my teen years through early adulthood until this day, journalling has been my way of connecting with my inner Self. Lately, I journal to connect with my higher Self as a way to not just find solutions to difficult problems of my life but also to help connect with my inner source of abundant creativity. To me, journalling is more than just a coping mechanism, it is meditative and an expression of self love.

Today, I want to share 30 journal prompts that I feel would help many people out there. Some of these were invaluable to me during my self-healing process:

  1. What is important to me?
  2. What do I need to do to tend to things that are important to me?
  3. What am I currently struggling with?
  4. What can I do to overcome this?
  5. Why am I unhappy/upset?
  6. Why is there no peace within myself?
  7. Am I content with my life? Why not?
  8. What am I genuinely good at?
  9. What is my biggest strength?
  10. What makes me insecure? Why?
  11. What am I grateful for?
  12. What ritual/habits I wish to develop?
  13. What are my limiting beliefs?
  14. What is the thought-process that is hidden behind my limiting beliefs?
  15. Are these thoughts true? OR am I assuming them to be true?
  16. What are my true interests? What makes my heart sing?
  17. What qualities in others are attractive/unattractive to me?
  18. What can I do every day that is just for my own happiness?
  19. How can I reach my goals without going crazy? How can I structure it?
  20. Why don’t I trust that person?
  21. Is that person ashamed of me or it is me who is ashamed of myself?
  22. Is that person judging me or am I judging myself?
  23. What can I do to release my anger without hurting others?
  24. Am I sad or am I just bored?
  25. Am I hungry or am I depressed?
  26. Am I angry or just disappointed?
  27. How can I cultivate more self love in my life?
  28. How can I have more humility?
  29. What can I do to coexist with people who are not like me?
  30. What can I do to forgive people who hurt me?

I hope this helps anyone who needs it…Happy journalling! <3

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The magical experience of walking

Who would have thought walking can be magical? I know, walking hardly sounds magical. In fact, with the new quarantine lifestyle, even walking seems like a chore. I am here to convince you that walking can be the most joyful experience you will have today. Have you ever closely looked at your legs? Stop everything you are doing, go to your closet and look at your legs in the mirror. Appreciate them for what they are. Think about how strong those leg muscles are and how wonderfully they carry you from one place to another with grace. Your legs dance with you, sprint with you, support all of your organs and your entire weight. Your legs tell you when you feel chilly and need a pair of warm socks, they help you find balance when you trip on the road and even train with you at the gym every single day. When you walk, your legs coordinate with each other, the nervous system and the external stimuli so perfectly that you hardly have to pay attention in order to walk properly. Over the years, you have gained experience walking on hilly, rocky, smooth, slippery and puddly surfaces. You now know exactly how to walk on those surfaces, how much pressure to apply on your feet, how long a stride to take and how to avoid obstacles. We hardly give ourselves credit for our amazing capability to walk and excel at it. If we get a stroke, we might possibly forget how to walk and have to learn it all over again. Fascinating, isn’t it?

You can walk while you talk, walk while you eat, walk while you read, walk while you think and the best of all, walk while you overthink things in your head. Have you ever thought of, you know, just walking? I remember the time when I first discovered that walking is simply amazing! I was in the second year of College and I was very much into mindfulness at the time. It was a sunny afternoon on a weekend and the corridors of my dingy Indian dorm were poorly lit. There were not many people in the corridor at the time and the foyer led to an open space that connected my dorm to a long walkway. I decided to take a nice long walk from my corridor through the well-lit foyer towards the long walkway that opened up to a huge outdoor seating area. I was preoccupied by school stuff and my head was about to blast open. So, I said to myself that I can’t allow any more stimuli into my headspace and I started walking like I have nowhere to be. The moment I decided to let go of the inner arguments and “just” walk, I noticed something remarkable. I started to consume the experience of walking with all of my senses and awareness.

With every step I took, I started to feel my own body weight a bit more than I usually do, as if I am literally dragging this 130 pounds of flesh standing up against the gravity. I started to feel with my feet the rough topography. I was involuntarily trying to sense the temperature of the floor. I suddenly became so aware of the empty space around me. If I stopped walking, the space remained the same and if I resumed my walk, I was moving through that space. I looked at the ceiling with a child-like curiosity. I felt time slow down ever so slightly for me to feel relaxed and didn’t need any alcohol or drugs to feel that way. I simply started to witness the various background noises of people talking originating from a distance. Somewhere within me, a seed of joy was growing. I felt this insane rush of happiness, just by enjoying my newly expanded range of awareness. It was purely delightful. I couldn’t explain why such a simple act of “just” walking made me realize the beauty of everything about that moment. A wave of gratitude hit me. I reached the outdoor area, I looked at the beautiful patterns of the pebbles on the ground. I sat down at the corridor near the mud and could clearly see the grains of sand. Wow, what a texture! I took a palmful of sand and felt it, as if I am a 5-year old at the beach looking at sand for the first time. I looked around, some people were in a group laughing loudly while others occupied the corners with their laptops and study material. I looked around, I looked at all of it as if I don’t belong to this scene in the movie. A deep sense of peace and contentment rested inside of me. The only way I would describe that moment was magical. From that point in time, I feel in love with the habit of being fully present when I take a walk in the park, especially on days when I really crave for some magic!

Walking can be a great form of meditation, In fact, Buddhist monks practice walking meditation, which is basically “just walking” but with a bit more grace, love and total awareness. Any activity can be turned into meditation if you use the entire range of your awareness. It is that simple! Next time, when you find yourself walking, spare a few minutes of multitasking and try “just” walking. I wish and hope your experience turns out just as magical as mine, leaving you with a heart full of peace and a face decorated with a big smile.

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Simple tips for beginners to slip into the silence

It is the year 2020 or might I say, the year of “feeling things” instead of “doing things” and I am intrigued by the fact that the topic of meditation is still a bit “woo-woo” for many out there. Some people recognize its importance due to the various scientifically-proven health benefits of meditation and mindfulness while others practice it to temporarily escape the chaotic events of their life. As someone who is training to become a meditation teacher, I was thinking about the reasons why is it so hard for some people to meditate and the common assumptions which some people might have about the practice of meditation. In its essence, meditation is an effortless process and is supposed to be very natural and easy. It is our birthright and to meditate is to get in touch with the silence within ourselves in order to, sort of recharge our “batteries” and to enrich our daily life experiences. Today, I would like to share some simple ways for a beginner to prepare before you can transition into a state of meditation that I have learnt during my 12-year long friendship with this wonderful practice.

  1. Household chores

This is the easiest way to get into a state of meditation and I have personally suggested this to many of my friends/acquaintance who had trouble cultivating the practice of meditation. You may not realize it at first but when you are by yourself doing the dishes, folding your clothes or cleaning the furniture, the chances of slipping into the “now” moment is higher than if you were accompanied by music or other people at home. This is probably one of the reasons why some of us feel satisfied after we clean something. Without paying much attention to it, the chaos within settles down while our “batteries” are charged and at the end of it, most of us feel much calmer. For beginners who feel a lot of inner resistance to sit and meditate, performing these simple tasks can prepare you for a successful meditation session.

  1. Mindful walks

Everyone who knows me in person can agree that I am a huge fan of connecting with nature. In spirituality, we consider the environment we live in as a part of our physical body. Our environment is just as alive as we are and they highly influence us. It is not news to say that nature is bountiful and that we ARE nature. When we have trouble connecting to the field of silence and pure awareness through meditation, we can get help from nature. Taking a walk in the park with total focus on every sensory stimulus and every vibrant scenery instantly connects us to the state we would be in during meditation. Although this state of meditation, just like the one while performing household tasks, is accompanied by some background mental activity, taking quiet walks is a very good way to start meditating as a beginner.

  1. Weaken those inner arguments

We all have been there. We play out scenarios in our head and even if our lives are more or less stress-free, our mind never shuts up. Our mind loves the drama and that’s not at all surprising! If you truly want to cultivate the habit of meditating, you have to clap your hands and bow to the director so he would end the rehearsal that he keeps orchestrating inside your head. I am not saying, you have to control your mind. Let me tell you, it is going to be IMPOSSIBLE to meditate when your intention is to CONTROL your mind and your thoughts. So, what do I mean by ending the rehearsal? Over the past few years, journalling has been of immense value to me to find out the root causes of the arguments that play in my mind from time to time. I would ask questions like- ” Why do I so badly want to defend myself to that person?”, “Why do I feel so strongly about this or that?” and “Do I have faith in myself to be prepared for such a disaster when the time comes? Why am I so anxious about this right now?”. When you truly heal or address your concerns, those mental rehearsals end and you can be more at peace, ready to step into silence.

  1. Listen to drumming music

When you listen to rhythmic music without words, your root chakra is healed and that makes you firmly anchored to your body. Why is this important? When you feel ungrounded or might I say, unsafe, threatened or in a state of constant self criticism, you are energetically depleted which makes it impossible for you to WANT to calm your mind. Rhythmic music can command your mind to focus on the music. Automatically, your feet starts tapping to the music and you start nodding your head, which can put you at ease. Bonus points if you wish to stand up and really feel the beats with your entire body with your eyes closed. Your life force energy gets activated and it charges your entire body, relaxing your muscles and makes you feel more fluid or in control of your body, which is a wonderful way to feel before you sit down to meditate. After some movement, moments of stillness of a meditation session doesn’t feel so restrictive to your body and to your mind.

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Stagnancy to flow-state

I remember the last time I felt the headrush of having a billion things to do in my list. I remember every minute lost in finding my shoes and gulping a sugar-loaded store-bought cupcake for breakfast before I had to catch the train every morning. I remember the hunger and fear-induced symphony played loudly in my stomach while sitting in a conference room. I remember counting the number of hours left before I could go home, wear my most comfortable pyjamas and watch my favorite Netflix show while I relish my two day-old greasy pizza for dinner. I used to look forward to weekends and would grab every chance to get a break from working my ass off. I would utilize every chunk of time during my day being creative in some form or the other. I would bathe in the joy of indulging the creative side of my brain. With the increase in the number of corona virus cases, I was forced to quarantine and all of a sudden, I felt controlled by a huge wave of inertia to do..basically anything. It was not laziness, nah, nah. It was something more powerful than that. It was more like a resolve to not do anything, literally anything. It was excruciating considering the number of deadlines that were approaching and the pile of work getting accumulated with the passing day. I knew I had to do something, anything if not something of value but I just couldn’t get myself to do it. This was the most stagnant my energy has ever been and I did not know how to get out of it. I wished for someone to suggest me a magical way to get my life back together. I wished to find a way to feel like myself again. There I was, silently looking out my window, staring at the beautiful meadow in front of me and sinking in desperation to find a way that shakes the lethargy out of me. Today, I would like to share a few ways to transition from stagnancy to flow-state that have worked for me.

  1. Take a shower

Taking a shower not only cleanses you physically but also energetically. When we have spent a lot of time doing nothing, chances that our mind wandered to relive unnecessary painful moments by overthinking are high. When we relive or replay past memories in our mind, our awareness is literally transported to all aspects of those past moments. We may not realise it but it is highly energetically depleting and polluting to our body and mind. Taking a mindful shower with fragrant soaps, favourite music or just quietly enjoying the temperature of the water might help reset our thinking by bringing our awareness back to the present moment and hence, help us make a fresh start.

2. End the chaos within

This has been life-saving for me! Often times, we tend to not do anything as a result of being overwhelmed by the number of things we need to do or the number of issues that are playing on our screen of the mind without even realising it. If you don’t know what to do next, simply, take a notepad and make a list. It doesn’t have to be in any order or structured. Just write away! Once you have a visual representation of what is going on inside your head, you can start the process of elimination. Cross-off the issues that you can’t possibly find a solution, mark the issues or tasks that you can’t solve within the next three hours and circle those entries that you can do something about in the next three hours. Within the ones you have circled, pick the most time-sensitive task and finally, you have identified the immediate logical action to do for the moment.

3. Find an accountability partner

Open your phone contact list and find one person who would either in person or virtually be willing to support your efforts in getting work done that day. Transfer the authority of making decisions to take breaks to them or better yet, involve them in this process by explaining to them what your work is about and what would happen if you failed to do the task. This way, you can’t escape the process by dismissing their knowledge or lack thereof of the nature of your work. When we don’t know how to start, the best way is to take the power of starting away from you and give that to your trustworthy friend.

4. Shimmy to your favourite jam

This might sound counterproductive but stay with me here. Now that you have your accountability partner and your clean psyche ready to work, spend the first 5-10min on listening to fast-paced music that pumps you up and makes you yell to yourself, ” you got this!”. When we want to do something we absolutely hate but must finish the task anyway, the act of listening to your favourite beats can help you connect with that energetically-masculine quality of getting things done like a warrior with swords. The genre of music doesn’t matter as long as it can make your arms punch the air with smile on your face while sitting at your desk. Keep a timer to end your dance session and then, get to work with an uninterrupted focus.

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Being happy for others

We all talk about it. We all claim to be happy for others but do we really do it? Who cares, right? Do we really NEED to be happy for others? Have you ever wondered why is it that it is so hard to be happy for someone else, especially when we do not have what the other person has in his/her life? In my opinion, jealousy is a spectrum. Some of us are indifferent to others lives because let’s face it, our lives keep us busy and we like it that way, busy hustling with no time to spare for others problems. But I couldn’t help but think about those of us who are openly bitter about others being happy. People who belong to this category do not have much time to focus on others either. However, they somehow manage to express their discontentment while gossiping about their “good” friends or their supposedly close relatives and their seemingly perfect lives. In the eyes of these individuals, the happy people in their lives are just sitting in their beautiful mansions, collecting bags of gold coins and taking skydiving lessons using their private jets while all they might have received was a promotion or an elite gym membership. They LOOK at those face-tuned pictures of their friends with hundreds of hearts on it and they choose to SEE a damage-proof glowing and a healthy skin. They LOOK at the group picture of smiling faces and they choose to SEE a group of people who never have misunderstandings, thriving in harmony. While most of us know how deceptive appearances are, I am more interested in understanding why is it so hard for us humans to naturally be happy for others. After all, compassion and open-heartedness are supposed to be innate human qualities right?

So, how does jealousy originate in each of us? What does jealousy indicate? The most obvious answer for these questions is sadness and frustration from dealing with one’s own issues. When you are sad, you can’t possibly be happy for another person, even if it is someone very close to you. When you are sad or frustrated about something in your life, have you ever observed the narrative your ego gives you at the time? It is most certainly ALWAYS exaggerated. What do I mean by this? Suppose you are frustrated because you can’t afford your dream car, your Ego narrates this situation to you as if you are so poor that you probably have to save way more than you need to in order to afford the car. The Ego follows this up by saying that you can NEVER afford a luxurious lifestyle and then it tells you, your friends will overtake you in this “RACE” to “WIN” life. This goes on and on until you are sitting in your couch, sulking and criticising yourself over every purchase you had made up until that point. Eventually, your Ego convinces you that you are one step away from being destitute and that you need to up your “game”. Why?- because you can’t afford your dream car at that moment in your life. Why does your Ego wants to do this to you? Because your Ego always wants to protect you and it doesn’t know the scale of danger so it always assume the highest level of danger waiting to appear down the road.

What does your Ego or your sadness has to do with another person’s happiness? Nothing! This is it! Then, why does it always feel like it is all connected? Because we humans as a species always want to be a part of something. It is our innate desire to be included and to seek company and be around people who are like us. We don’t want to be left out. When we were hunting for food as a primitive being, it is probably dangerous to go through something that your tribe doesn’t know about or cannot help with because that would mean you will probably be left alone to die in order to save the rest of the tribe. Misery loves company. Deep down, a truly bitter person would probably be thinking, “how is it that I am suffering and you are not? This is unacceptable!”. Because of this crowd-gathering habit of ours, the realization that we are alone at struggling with something is very painful and our Ego wants to make us feel safe. So, our Ego nudges us to find ways to feel safe and included. The instinctive solution would be to make others miserable or point out their problems to make them less cheerful and in your point of view, more “humane”. The extent to which people put in efforts to make others miserable varies a lot and it is directly proportional to how alone and unsupported they feel in their lives.

We are not born bitter. We ALL are loving and kind sentient beings and that is our true nature. Perhaps knowing how Ego, also known as our our false Self, blocks our ability to be happy for others can help us understand how pointless it is to feel jealous. The next time your friend or acquaintance talks about his/her blessings, open those strong, confident arms and give them a hug or a handshake. Smile and send them loving energy and wish them well because there is one thing that is COMMON in you and your friend and that is the fact that you both are human.

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Finding hope..

Accepting change is hard, especially during the existing uncertain times caused by the Covid-19 pandemic. Everybody is in pretty much a similar situation, with people losing jobs and people not able to find jobs. No doubt, this is a major challenge faced by humanity. I don’t know how many of you are familiar with this but there is a major shift in our collective consciousness that has been happening for several months now and it is said to continue for years. What does that mean for a common man? Simply put, it means that we are going to see more and more people who would proactively choose to be kinder to others. We are going to see more and more people who value character, integrity and authenticity. We are going to see more of builder-ups and less of tearer-downs. More and more people are willingly going to emanate love, loving energy and positive vibrations while the negative people will become a minority. It is like our humanity is going through a very powerful upgrade! This is no news in the spiritual community. While the process of upgrading is painful, my heart is filled with endless hope for our humanity. People often ask me how I am able to remain so cool without any major career leads as a student about to graduate soon during this time of unforeseeable uncertainty. I used to be a huge fan of planning, freaking out, planning and then freaking out some more. However, I am also a big believer of destiny. All I know right now is that my higher Self or what people call intuition, will guide me to make the right decisions and that, I would be guided to do what I am meant to pursue at a meaningful time point. Whatever issues I face along the way, I trust that I will be able to handle it. Don’t ask for proof because it is faith without reason that helps me find hope! Faith is always without reason. Belief is powerful because it can energise thoughts and manifest them into reality. Even though the situation is bleak for many of us right now, I strongly believe! I believe that we will get through this and we, as our higher Selves, always have our best interest to guide us through this. You and I are slowly but surely transforming into someone much better, leading a better life in a better humanity, as new citizens of the New Earth. Some of the best opportunities are waiting for each of us, something much better than what we were to receive and something more suited to each of us for the time period. If you still find it hard to hold onto hope, I am here to give you hope. Trust me and join hands with me in believing that we all will get through this because we all are in this together and the future is going to be brighter than we had ever imagined. <3

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Why do we love being in misery so much?

Why do we love being in misery so much?❤️ Before my spiritual awakening, I used to think that my sole purpose of life is to be happy but I had not done anything to achieve that goal. We all say that we don’t want to be sad but subconsciously, many of us love being the object of pity and possessing a victim identity. I used to think that having friends, travelling to exotic locations and earning the educational degree of my choice would make me happy. I am sure many people would be able to relate to the wishful thinking that I had and that chase that never seemed to end. But in spite of reaching those destinations, getting those double taps on Instagram, having a “friend circle” and loved ones, I still felt unfulfilled and sad. Come to think of it, I have observed this in many people I have met. I wanted to understand this aspect further. So, I happened to do some journalling and turns out, I used to give excuses to stay unhappy because I thought my traumas made me who I am. Without that, I am not worthy of attention. As a positive person, I can say now that being one is like being a magnet. My pleasant energy and willingness to listen tend to attract many people towards me. But eventually, people find it boring because I can put a positive spin on anything and that’s not entertaining, that’s a buzzkill to many people. So, people naturally don’t want to be a buzzkill themselves. And, how did I transform from someone who needs pain to feel validated into someone who doesn’t need it? I simply realized that I had to change my intention. The sole purpose of my life is still to exist happily and peacefully, but this time, it is just for me. I want to be happy, for myself and not for the society. I can be a person, radiating positivity and still be interesting and this realisation changed my life for the better. I don’t consider my past valuable anymore, at least not to the extent that it becomes worthy of my attachment.
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