We can lose the habit of playing an instrument or forget how to speak a language. We could disconnect from our friends and family and even change jobs or partners. However, we can never disconnect from the feeling of being in love. Even if we don’t have a romantic partner, we are constantly experiencing forms of love from friends, family, teachers/guides, pets and at times, even strangers. We can forget what a specific form of love feels like but we can never forget the sentiment and the emotions behind the state of love. Why is love the constant emotional component of our everyday lives? Why is this particular aspect of human life glorified? Why people are running from one pole to another to find “love”? Why is the idea of “love” so varied? Why the lack of any form of “love” seems to put us in a state of depression and possibly, death? We all intuitively know that love is fundamental to our existence but why is that the case? These are some of the questions I had growing up.
The need to redefine love doesn’t come from an assumption that love must be viewed a certain way and not in any other way. We have no trouble comprehending love. When I looked up the meaning of the word Love, I found it to be defined as extreme fondness, sudden attraction, willingness to put others happiness over their own, affection towards another being, so on and so forth. Just like everybody else, I grew up holding this interpretation of love close to my heart and indeed, love is all of that! There are also the concepts of self love and self care, which are rightfully garnering increasing attention in the past years. Some might perceive the concept of self love to be a trend favoured by millennials, just like Dalgona coffee and flower crown filters. Personally, I have spent several years intellectualizing love, among many other things. People told me the concept of love morphs with age because our expectations and priorities evolve. Hence, I created imaginary containers of love inside my mind at each stage of my life and expected people/accomplishments to fill them with their strong presence. Everyone around me was designing their life in a very similar way. So, I figured this is what “normal” people do with their lives.
Over time, a light bulb began to flicker inside my head. Years went by when the bulb would continue to flicker and one day, it switched off completely, leaving my inner world cold and dark. Much like the formation of life on Earth, an inner knowing triggered a series of changes in my uninhabitable inner world. It woke me up, made me dust myself off the ground and place my hand on my heart. The inner knowing made me re-learn what love meant. That day marked the day when I redefined “love” and rediscovered love. That day I realised that love is everything, not just a feeling or a requirement for sustenance. That day answered my list of unanswered questions about love. It changed my reality from that of seeking to being, from the state of obsession and lack to that of safety, abundance and faith. Love is the basic energetic frequency of existence of our soul. I understood that love is so fundamental because all love is, is the state of being. There are no real categories in love because, underneath all forms of love, there exists a core energetic element made of harmony, contentment and peace. This is what we all have been chasing after all our lives. The whole plot of life is to find this and anchor to this element. Our journey to find love is called life and by that, I mean finding that element of love. When we do end up finding the element, we can’t deny it. We definitely don’t need to seek it externally. This is beyond the concept of self love. This is the inner knowing that there is no “self” love, there is ONLY love.
When you find yourself in your deepest, darkest state of mind when you are longing for love, think of the core element of love I mentioned earlier. What you seek is really contentment, peace and harmony, which make up the natural state of your being. You are naturally in a state of balance, contentment and peace. But why doesn’t it feel like that? Why does it hurt so bad? Because you are disconnected from your true essence. You never healed from the wounds created by societal conditioning, cultural conditioning and familial conditioning. You are probably habituated to silencing your intuition and making choices based on fear, which is also a product of conditioning. To redefine love in your life, you must acknowledge the disconnection from your true essence to be the source of your desperation, inadequacy, sadness and frustration. And how to bring yourself back to balance, to the natural state of love and harmony? Connect to your true essence and by that, I mean, simply, follow your joy whilst completely disempowering fear. Meditation, self inquiry, spending time in nature, conscious nourishment with healthy foods and explosive creativity are all examples of ways to connect to your true essence. Eventually, when you crave love, all you have to do is connect to your heart center and feel your heart beating with bountiful life.
Stay miraculous! <3
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