Are you going in the right direction ?

Many people don’t know what following your heart means. Following my heart? I had no idea that my “heart” had its own intelligence.

“Am I going in the right direction?”

Most people deal with this question by seeking the opinion of their friends and family. I used to be that person, always depending on others expertise to find solutions to my problems.

Some people overwhelm you with their detailed comments on your situation and their interpretation of your life is always influenced by the type of conditioning they have experienced in this lifetime.

Although you can get inspired by others input, such discussions can never give you the answer that is best suited for you.

Few others tell you to “follow your heart” which probably ends up intensifying your decision fatigue. Many people don’t know what following your heart means.

Following my heart? I had no idea that my “heart” had its own intelligence. What if my heart wasn’t my best friend? How do I know if my heart wants to sabotage my growth? Is my heart got totally screwed up by the years of emotional baggage I carried inside it?

Can my heart think straight? Or does my heart need new clothes, a haircut and antidepressants to sit straight? How can I trust my “heart“? These are some of the questions that used to pop up in my head.

I seemed to be doing everything “right” and according to somebody else’s agenda but I could sense something more powerful than self-doubt growing in me steadily.

Now, I wish I had someone back then tell me then that the answer has always been “Yes”. Yes, I was and am going in the right direction.

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How is that? And, how will I know that “Yes” is the right answer?

Everything we do and every step we take in life has a higher purpose. A plan is in action which could very easily be considered divine because it is originating from a space that’s beyond intellect.

Intellect is composed entirely of everything you have learnt from books, other people and your own experiences. So, it is rich in information.

However, the limitation of intellect is that it is finite. Anything that you cannot foresee is beyond intellect, it is an inexplicable learning opportunity.

So, all those horrible things that happened in the past, is it fair?

It might seem unrealistic and even completely wrong to view unjust or cruel incidences as if they have a higher purpose.

No one deserves pain and suffering. But my point is that those horrible things that you had to endure made you who you are today.

Acceptance is not about debating the purpose of every painful situation, although we all do it subconsciously. The Universe works in ways that supports our highest good and you don’t have to take my word for it.

Look back at your life and you might be surprised to find out that your suffering has been an invaluable source of life lessons. These lessons can’t be taught in a classroom.

So, ultimately your life plan led you to enrich your intellect, thereby providing you with the necessary tools to either re-use later or pass them on to your loved ones and the rest of the world.

You might ask me, “Why go through so much pain to learn these lessons?” and to this, I say, it is because we chose this by design.

Human life is all about the experience and the lessons we learn through it. If we subtract all the superficial goals, the journey of life is a pointless, exciting and profound adventure that’s totally worth the effort.

You might still ask me, ” oh, but why the heck?” and to that, I say, just because we can! So, sit back, follow your inner guidance and enjoy the ride.

It may not make sense now and may not even make sense when you are older. However, that part of you that’s divine, your being, just knows that in the end, it is all going to be okay.

Unusual self care practices

What can be so unusual about self care? The answer totally stands out from the traditional idea of self care which involves spa treatments, meditation classes, yoga, gym memberships or “protecting your energy” by staying away from negativity. In today’s post, I explore a four-fold approach to everyday life that might freshen your perspective on what it means to care for yourself on a deeper level and value yourself in a way that prepares you to face the battles of life.

  1. Getting to know yourself

Staying open to re-discovering who you are and what is important to you, in my books, is the highest expression of self care. Sometimes we tend to blindly accept certain behavioural patterns or mindset habits that we might have subconsciously picked up over the years, some of which might be unwanted or even toxic. Having a genuine sense of life-long curiosity towards why we operate the way we do without criticising ourselves is not just a path to become our own best friend but also a way to show ourselves that we care enough about ourselves to invest time for it.

2. Showing who you are

Showing who you are includes not just being vulnerable but also about confronting your overly judgemental and cruel aspects of your personality. Nothing screams self care as much as showing up as your authentic, awesome self. Regular self-inquiry aimed at improving your alignment to your core values and your authentic essence might seem like a lot of work. However, it is in the process of humbly showing up as your ENTIRE, gracious self that you experience the utmost freedom of self love and inner expression.

3. Going with the flow

Non-resistance to the flow of life significantly reduces that proportion of human suffering which is self-inflicted. Going with the flow doesn’t mean giving up or not having any goals in life. Being flexible with our plans, NOT unconsciously expecting people to fill previously-abandoned roles in our life, giving other people space to be themselves and staying open to miracles are excellent examples of self care and preservation. The concept of viewing life as an open-ended question and embracing uncertainty allows you to believe in your divine power of creation, sustenance, safety and resilience.

4. Empathising with others

When I started viewing Empathy as a self care ritual, my life instantly became reprogrammed to attract love, peace and conscious connections. Although empathising with others might hardly seem related to our own wellbeing, this practice cultivates the habit of valuing one’s own inner peace over mundane dramas. It helps to know that every single person in this world has their own unique journey filled with joy, pleasure, suffering and other types of karmic repercussions. Only someone who genuinely values and cares for themselves with full understanding of their own power to love, forgive and connect can actually empathise with others. This practice has the power to transmute our feelings of greed, jealousy, shame and hurt that we constantly experience into love, joy, belongingness, gratitude and service.

Does seeking help makes you appear weak?

There is a very fine line between believing in your limitless potential and deluding yourself into thinking that you are superhuman. The latter has been a deceptive source of suffering for most of us in this modern world.

I am a firm believer of the idea that we can always count on ourselves and that the best help is the one we can find within ourselves. There is nothing more empowering than knowing that failures don’t define us and the act of pushing ourselves every single time just a little farther than we think we can reach ultimately takes us to excellence.

As much as I am convinced of our ability to pursue anything under the sky and beyond, the pursuit of wanting to be an extraordinary achiever can sometimes tend to sabotage our path towards real, meaningful and fulfilling accomplishments.

People often think that those who are successful have a reputation of doing things all by themselves and appearing invincible. As time passes by, some of these people might lose sight of why they do what they do. Even though staying hungry in life can have strong motivations, for some of us, all of our intentions could eventually boil down merely to boosting our Ego and our projected self image.

Being perceived as weak means that you are not living life the “right” way. Hence, all of us love to aspire to be “strong”. In the process of wanting to be “strong” and socially acceptable, we tend to hold unrealistic expectations for ourselves, suffer from incessant self criticism and somewhere along the way, end up feeling worthless and depressed.

However, my understanding of leading life as a “strong” person has nothing to do with projecting an image of being a marvel of nature. It is all about being open and humble enough to accept help and doing whatever it takes to survive and lead a fulfilling life.

The beauty of accepting help lies in the endless amount of opportunities for innovation and expansion, which may not be accessible to you if you wish to do everything by yourself. Not to mention the amount of time and energy you might end up saving along the way. The only thing you might end up losing is your grip over your Ego, which is not costly at all.

Some of the smartest people who mean business know the importance of delegating tasks to experts of the respective niches to collectively create products or services that benefit the world. Inspiring leaders and pioneers of various industries often build their mission with cooperation, collaboration and efficiency as building blocks.

You don’t have to be a leader or an entrepreneur to know the value of seeking help. Even those who think they are aimlessly cruising through life can find and pursue their purpose by overcoming any resistance towards relying on others for help. Help of all sorts is available in this world for those who are passionate in life. Passion can be about anything. You can be passionate about living happily and if you need help with that, doesn’t matter what that means for you, you must reach for it.

It is not about how many tasks you can perform on your own, if you can be completely self sufficient or if you can stick to a rigid timeline. It is really about doing whatever it takes to efficiently create the life you want to live, even if it requires you to overcome your limitations by seeking help emotionally, financially, physically or intellectually.

So, tell me, does seeking help makes you appear weak? Maybe! But here is the thing, who has the time to care?

“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.”

-Unknown

Way out of darkness..

There are people who love motivational content and there are people who think motivation is overrated. Among those who love motivational content, there are some who respond to “tough love” or the so-called “if your ambition doesn’t keep you up all night, you are doing something wrong” approach. Many others respond to the method of acceptance and letting go approach that promotes healing. Few others respond to “to hell with those who disagree, I love myself, hashtag I-don’t-care” approach. Depending on the issue people deal with at that particular moment of their life, people resonate with different approaches. My encounters with people who don’t believe in investing in personal motivation have taught me a great deal about my own life. People who belong to this category whom I’ve met often tend to express their discontentment with life and humanity in general. They tell me, “Well, all is not well. People are dying and all of these positive messages are bullshit. People are mean. The world is cruel and nothing good ever happens to anyone, at least to me. What do I have to feel optimistic in life?”. I am no stranger to this thought-process.

My understanding is that no one refuses help unless they have been disappointed with the forms of help that often finds its way towards them. Even if you meet the most cynical person in this world, that person might probably remember a brighter time in that person’s life when the belief in the abundance of love and light was unshakeable. Over time, people build a protective shield around their hearts made of what they call “hard reality”. This grew to become an important lesson that was passed on to future generations. In my opinion, gradually. this worldview left our hearts a bit heavier than it was before at every step of evolution. Residual sadness morphed to take a permanent role in our lives and this fuelled the growth of denser emotions such as hatred, depression and anger that never left our system. This is the collective darkness of humanity.

When I began pondering over the collective darkness, I began to realise that there is something very important that the disappointed bunch tend to not realise. It is the fact that they are not alone at carrying this burden. There are people who project a fake life and there are people who project a life that they are constantly striving to live. Most of those who are into promoting a positive outlook of the world have darkness in them as well that they are constantly battling and healing from every day. Most “positive” people you would find right now online or offline are/have gone through difficult periods in their lives. We know how hard it is to get up in the morning and do something worthwhile when all they want to do is sit on the bed and sulk in sadness. So, all we all hypocrites? No, it is not what I am saying. The point I am trying to convey is that people who try to motivate you are not perfect. Everyone works through certain issues, overcomes obstacles, learns from them while they still struggle at something else.

Perhaps it would be useful for those who don’t believe in motivation to know that nobody is perfect. Each lesson that is shared with them by any influencer must be taken for what they are and it doesn’t have to be another excuse for you to feel bad about yourself or your coping strategies. It is possible to learn from others mistakes and lessons without them threatening your self image. Personally, as someone who is a motivational content creator, my intention is never to downplay others struggles and I can vouch for many who are like me that no one in this line of work usually wishes to rub their happiness on others faces. Most people think long and hard in extracting those lessons from their life that they learnt by experiencing a lot of pain and they want to provide value to the world by sharing their lessons. Life is a very individualistic journey yet we all have many things in common. Since each person’s awareness and perception is technically unique, any number of solutions to an issue can be possible and it is up to each of us to accept guidance that most resonates with us.

So, open your arms, give yourself a hug and don’t shy away from seeking help. Even if it might seem hard to believe, there is love and light in this world that is shining on our darkness right now. Let us collectively work through the darkness and find the light in each of us.

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Journalling- dig a little deeper..

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn” – Anne Frank.

For some reason, journalling feels laborious for many of us. Who has the time and patience to sit down, open a notebook and write down our feelings, am I right? Even if we bring ourselves to buy a journal and cultivate the habit of writing everyday, it often seems like a feat too unrealistic to fit into our routine. Either we are enthusiastic about writing for a day or two and then, we forget about journalling or we realise the amount of effort that is required and we say to ourselves, “Chuck it, I am just going to watch a couple episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and I am good to go”. I have been there. But let me tell you, I am alive now because of my habit of journalling and I have stuck with it long enough to tell you first-hand, how beneficial it can be for anyone. Journalling is for EVERYONE, is inexpensive and with exceptions, one of the most trustworthy source of solutions because when you journal, you look inward to seek answers. The best part is that there is no rule to journalling and it is all about you creating a safe space for your inner expression. Journalling is not just for navigating difficult times but also for finding out what you value the most in life and help shape your goals. You can use it to track your progress, develop habits and even, understand what kind of human relationships you wish to have in your life. It is also a wonderful tool to help reprogram limiting beliefs using affirmations and positive words. You can declutter your life with it, identify inner child wounds and access your inner wisdom to guide you into total acceptance of who you are and how others in your life behave around you.

I started journalling at the age of 9 or 10 originally to cultivate a habit of recording everything that happened in my life, just because someone at school told me it was a good habit to keep a diary. As a chubby lonely preteen, I derived so much joy from sharing my daily activities to my only friend, my journal. I spared no detail! I would make colorful little doodles in it with my favorite set of crayons and I used to carry it with me to every event and vacation. It was my priced possession! During my late teens, my purpose of using a journal evolved from merely record keeping to finding an emotional release for my moody days. I would write everything I felt on a piece of paper, read it once or twice and then, tear it up and throw it in the bin. Hailing from an Indian household, journalling was my only way of seeking therapy and finding peace during my dark times. With time, I started to get creative with my journalling habits. I was a very indecisive teenager and I used to ask questions to dissect situations. From my teen years through early adulthood until this day, journalling has been my way of connecting with my inner Self. Lately, I journal to connect with my higher Self as a way to not just find solutions to difficult problems of my life but also to help connect with my inner source of abundant creativity. To me, journalling is more than just a coping mechanism, it is meditative and an expression of self love.

Today, I want to share 30 journal prompts that I feel would help many people out there. Some of these were invaluable to me during my self-healing process:

  1. What is important to me?
  2. What do I need to do to tend to things that are important to me?
  3. What am I currently struggling with?
  4. What can I do to overcome this?
  5. Why am I unhappy/upset?
  6. Why is there no peace within myself?
  7. Am I content with my life? Why not?
  8. What am I genuinely good at?
  9. What is my biggest strength?
  10. What makes me insecure? Why?
  11. What am I grateful for?
  12. What ritual/habits I wish to develop?
  13. What are my limiting beliefs?
  14. What is the thought-process that is hidden behind my limiting beliefs?
  15. Are these thoughts true? OR am I assuming them to be true?
  16. What are my true interests? What makes my heart sing?
  17. What qualities in others are attractive/unattractive to me?
  18. What can I do every day that is just for my own happiness?
  19. How can I reach my goals without going crazy? How can I structure it?
  20. Why don’t I trust that person?
  21. Is that person ashamed of me or it is me who is ashamed of myself?
  22. Is that person judging me or am I judging myself?
  23. What can I do to release my anger without hurting others?
  24. Am I sad or am I just bored?
  25. Am I hungry or am I depressed?
  26. Am I angry or just disappointed?
  27. How can I cultivate more self love in my life?
  28. How can I have more humility?
  29. What can I do to coexist with people who are not like me?
  30. What can I do to forgive people who hurt me?

I hope this helps anyone who needs it…Happy journalling! <3

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The magical experience of walking

Who would have thought walking can be magical? I know, walking hardly sounds magical. In fact, with the new quarantine lifestyle, even walking seems like a chore. I am here to convince you that walking can be the most joyful experience you will have today. Have you ever closely looked at your legs? Stop everything you are doing, go to your closet and look at your legs in the mirror. Appreciate them for what they are. Think about how strong those leg muscles are and how wonderfully they carry you from one place to another with grace. Your legs dance with you, sprint with you, support all of your organs and your entire weight. Your legs tell you when you feel chilly and need a pair of warm socks, they help you find balance when you trip on the road and even train with you at the gym every single day. When you walk, your legs coordinate with each other, the nervous system and the external stimuli so perfectly that you hardly have to pay attention in order to walk properly. Over the years, you have gained experience walking on hilly, rocky, smooth, slippery and puddly surfaces. You now know exactly how to walk on those surfaces, how much pressure to apply on your feet, how long a stride to take and how to avoid obstacles. We hardly give ourselves credit for our amazing capability to walk and excel at it. If we get a stroke, we might possibly forget how to walk and have to learn it all over again. Fascinating, isn’t it?

You can walk while you talk, walk while you eat, walk while you read, walk while you think and the best of all, walk while you overthink things in your head. Have you ever thought of, you know, just walking? I remember the time when I first discovered that walking is simply amazing! I was in the second year of College and I was very much into mindfulness at the time. It was a sunny afternoon on a weekend and the corridors of my dingy Indian dorm were poorly lit. There were not many people in the corridor at the time and the foyer led to an open space that connected my dorm to a long walkway. I decided to take a nice long walk from my corridor through the well-lit foyer towards the long walkway that opened up to a huge outdoor seating area. I was preoccupied by school stuff and my head was about to blast open. So, I said to myself that I can’t allow any more stimuli into my headspace and I started walking like I have nowhere to be. The moment I decided to let go of the inner arguments and “just” walk, I noticed something remarkable. I started to consume the experience of walking with all of my senses and awareness.

With every step I took, I started to feel my own body weight a bit more than I usually do, as if I am literally dragging this 130 pounds of flesh standing up against the gravity. I started to feel with my feet the rough topography. I was involuntarily trying to sense the temperature of the floor. I suddenly became so aware of the empty space around me. If I stopped walking, the space remained the same and if I resumed my walk, I was moving through that space. I looked at the ceiling with a child-like curiosity. I felt time slow down ever so slightly for me to feel relaxed and didn’t need any alcohol or drugs to feel that way. I simply started to witness the various background noises of people talking originating from a distance. Somewhere within me, a seed of joy was growing. I felt this insane rush of happiness, just by enjoying my newly expanded range of awareness. It was purely delightful. I couldn’t explain why such a simple act of “just” walking made me realize the beauty of everything about that moment. A wave of gratitude hit me. I reached the outdoor area, I looked at the beautiful patterns of the pebbles on the ground. I sat down at the corridor near the mud and could clearly see the grains of sand. Wow, what a texture! I took a palmful of sand and felt it, as if I am a 5-year old at the beach looking at sand for the first time. I looked around, some people were in a group laughing loudly while others occupied the corners with their laptops and study material. I looked around, I looked at all of it as if I don’t belong to this scene in the movie. A deep sense of peace and contentment rested inside of me. The only way I would describe that moment was magical. From that point in time, I feel in love with the habit of being fully present when I take a walk in the park, especially on days when I really crave for some magic!

Walking can be a great form of meditation, In fact, Buddhist monks practice walking meditation, which is basically “just walking” but with a bit more grace, love and total awareness. Any activity can be turned into meditation if you use the entire range of your awareness. It is that simple! Next time, when you find yourself walking, spare a few minutes of multitasking and try “just” walking. I wish and hope your experience turns out just as magical as mine, leaving you with a heart full of peace and a face decorated with a big smile.

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Stagnancy to flow-state

I remember the last time I felt the headrush of having a billion things to do in my list. I remember every minute lost in finding my shoes and gulping a sugar-loaded store-bought cupcake for breakfast before I had to catch the train every morning. I remember the hunger and fear-induced symphony played loudly in my stomach while sitting in a conference room. I remember counting the number of hours left before I could go home, wear my most comfortable pyjamas and watch my favorite Netflix show while I relish my two day-old greasy pizza for dinner. I used to look forward to weekends and would grab every chance to get a break from working my ass off. I would utilize every chunk of time during my day being creative in some form or the other. I would bathe in the joy of indulging the creative side of my brain. With the increase in the number of corona virus cases, I was forced to quarantine and all of a sudden, I felt controlled by a huge wave of inertia to do..basically anything. It was not laziness, nah, nah. It was something more powerful than that. It was more like a resolve to not do anything, literally anything. It was excruciating considering the number of deadlines that were approaching and the pile of work getting accumulated with the passing day. I knew I had to do something, anything if not something of value but I just couldn’t get myself to do it. This was the most stagnant my energy has ever been and I did not know how to get out of it. I wished for someone to suggest me a magical way to get my life back together. I wished to find a way to feel like myself again. There I was, silently looking out my window, staring at the beautiful meadow in front of me and sinking in desperation to find a way that shakes the lethargy out of me. Today, I would like to share a few ways to transition from stagnancy to flow-state that have worked for me.

  1. Take a shower

Taking a shower not only cleanses you physically but also energetically. When we have spent a lot of time doing nothing, chances that our mind wandered to relive unnecessary painful moments by overthinking are high. When we relive or replay past memories in our mind, our awareness is literally transported to all aspects of those past moments. We may not realise it but it is highly energetically depleting and polluting to our body and mind. Taking a mindful shower with fragrant soaps, favourite music or just quietly enjoying the temperature of the water might help reset our thinking by bringing our awareness back to the present moment and hence, help us make a fresh start.

2. End the chaos within

This has been life-saving for me! Often times, we tend to not do anything as a result of being overwhelmed by the number of things we need to do or the number of issues that are playing on our screen of the mind without even realising it. If you don’t know what to do next, simply, take a notepad and make a list. It doesn’t have to be in any order or structured. Just write away! Once you have a visual representation of what is going on inside your head, you can start the process of elimination. Cross-off the issues that you can’t possibly find a solution, mark the issues or tasks that you can’t solve within the next three hours and circle those entries that you can do something about in the next three hours. Within the ones you have circled, pick the most time-sensitive task and finally, you have identified the immediate logical action to do for the moment.

3. Find an accountability partner

Open your phone contact list and find one person who would either in person or virtually be willing to support your efforts in getting work done that day. Transfer the authority of making decisions to take breaks to them or better yet, involve them in this process by explaining to them what your work is about and what would happen if you failed to do the task. This way, you can’t escape the process by dismissing their knowledge or lack thereof of the nature of your work. When we don’t know how to start, the best way is to take the power of starting away from you and give that to your trustworthy friend.

4. Shimmy to your favourite jam

This might sound counterproductive but stay with me here. Now that you have your accountability partner and your clean psyche ready to work, spend the first 5-10min on listening to fast-paced music that pumps you up and makes you yell to yourself, ” you got this!”. When we want to do something we absolutely hate but must finish the task anyway, the act of listening to your favourite beats can help you connect with that energetically-masculine quality of getting things done like a warrior with swords. The genre of music doesn’t matter as long as it can make your arms punch the air with smile on your face while sitting at your desk. Keep a timer to end your dance session and then, get to work with an uninterrupted focus.

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Being happy for others

We all talk about it. We all claim to be happy for others but do we really do it? Who cares, right? Do we really NEED to be happy for others? Have you ever wondered why is it that it is so hard to be happy for someone else, especially when we do not have what the other person has in his/her life? In my opinion, jealousy is a spectrum. Some of us are indifferent to others lives because let’s face it, our lives keep us busy and we like it that way, busy hustling with no time to spare for others problems. But I couldn’t help but think about those of us who are openly bitter about others being happy. People who belong to this category do not have much time to focus on others either. However, they somehow manage to express their discontentment while gossiping about their “good” friends or their supposedly close relatives and their seemingly perfect lives. In the eyes of these individuals, the happy people in their lives are just sitting in their beautiful mansions, collecting bags of gold coins and taking skydiving lessons using their private jets while all they might have received was a promotion or an elite gym membership. They LOOK at those face-tuned pictures of their friends with hundreds of hearts on it and they choose to SEE a damage-proof glowing and a healthy skin. They LOOK at the group picture of smiling faces and they choose to SEE a group of people who never have misunderstandings, thriving in harmony. While most of us know how deceptive appearances are, I am more interested in understanding why is it so hard for us humans to naturally be happy for others. After all, compassion and open-heartedness are supposed to be innate human qualities right?

So, how does jealousy originate in each of us? What does jealousy indicate? The most obvious answer for these questions is sadness and frustration from dealing with one’s own issues. When you are sad, you can’t possibly be happy for another person, even if it is someone very close to you. When you are sad or frustrated about something in your life, have you ever observed the narrative your ego gives you at the time? It is most certainly ALWAYS exaggerated. What do I mean by this? Suppose you are frustrated because you can’t afford your dream car, your Ego narrates this situation to you as if you are so poor that you probably have to save way more than you need to in order to afford the car. The Ego follows this up by saying that you can NEVER afford a luxurious lifestyle and then it tells you, your friends will overtake you in this “RACE” to “WIN” life. This goes on and on until you are sitting in your couch, sulking and criticising yourself over every purchase you had made up until that point. Eventually, your Ego convinces you that you are one step away from being destitute and that you need to up your “game”. Why?- because you can’t afford your dream car at that moment in your life. Why does your Ego wants to do this to you? Because your Ego always wants to protect you and it doesn’t know the scale of danger so it always assume the highest level of danger waiting to appear down the road.

What does your Ego or your sadness has to do with another person’s happiness? Nothing! This is it! Then, why does it always feel like it is all connected? Because we humans as a species always want to be a part of something. It is our innate desire to be included and to seek company and be around people who are like us. We don’t want to be left out. When we were hunting for food as a primitive being, it is probably dangerous to go through something that your tribe doesn’t know about or cannot help with because that would mean you will probably be left alone to die in order to save the rest of the tribe. Misery loves company. Deep down, a truly bitter person would probably be thinking, “how is it that I am suffering and you are not? This is unacceptable!”. Because of this crowd-gathering habit of ours, the realization that we are alone at struggling with something is very painful and our Ego wants to make us feel safe. So, our Ego nudges us to find ways to feel safe and included. The instinctive solution would be to make others miserable or point out their problems to make them less cheerful and in your point of view, more “humane”. The extent to which people put in efforts to make others miserable varies a lot and it is directly proportional to how alone and unsupported they feel in their lives.

We are not born bitter. We ALL are loving and kind sentient beings and that is our true nature. Perhaps knowing how Ego, also known as our our false Self, blocks our ability to be happy for others can help us understand how pointless it is to feel jealous. The next time your friend or acquaintance talks about his/her blessings, open those strong, confident arms and give them a hug or a handshake. Smile and send them loving energy and wish them well because there is one thing that is COMMON in you and your friend and that is the fact that you both are human.

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Why do we love being in misery so much?

Why do we love being in misery so much?❤️ Before my spiritual awakening, I used to think that my sole purpose of life is to be happy but I had not done anything to achieve that goal. We all say that we don’t want to be sad but subconsciously, many of us love being the object of pity and possessing a victim identity. I used to think that having friends, travelling to exotic locations and earning the educational degree of my choice would make me happy. I am sure many people would be able to relate to the wishful thinking that I had and that chase that never seemed to end. But in spite of reaching those destinations, getting those double taps on Instagram, having a “friend circle” and loved ones, I still felt unfulfilled and sad. Come to think of it, I have observed this in many people I have met. I wanted to understand this aspect further. So, I happened to do some journalling and turns out, I used to give excuses to stay unhappy because I thought my traumas made me who I am. Without that, I am not worthy of attention. As a positive person, I can say now that being one is like being a magnet. My pleasant energy and willingness to listen tend to attract many people towards me. But eventually, people find it boring because I can put a positive spin on anything and that’s not entertaining, that’s a buzzkill to many people. So, people naturally don’t want to be a buzzkill themselves. And, how did I transform from someone who needs pain to feel validated into someone who doesn’t need it? I simply realized that I had to change my intention. The sole purpose of my life is still to exist happily and peacefully, but this time, it is just for me. I want to be happy, for myself and not for the society. I can be a person, radiating positivity and still be interesting and this realisation changed my life for the better. I don’t consider my past valuable anymore, at least not to the extent that it becomes worthy of my attachment.
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Is optimism a privilege?

Is optimism a privilege? There is this popular notion that being positive, motivated and indulging in self care are a privilege and only people who are considered privileged can afford to spend time for it. What does it mean to be privileged? I think that it means having a roof over your head, some money to comfortably support yourself and at least a hobby to keep you happy. But does privilege equal happiness? As a privileged person, I can assure you that it is not, at least for me. I would like to think that problems are always relative, always. That doesn’t undermine the suffering someone goes through. No one, literally no one alive now is exempted from the  life lessons they are destined to learn. I would like to think that every soul has a customized cosmic plan, designed by themselves at a higher state of awareness (I can say that as a God-like state, to make it easier to understand). It is important to be grateful for everything that one has but that doesn’t mean that there is no justification for someone’s suffering inspite of them having food to eat and some money in the bank. What strikes my mind now is that regardless of how privileged you are, you need motivation, self care and any tools under the sky to live your best life possible. In fact, the more misery you are going through, the more you need those tools to keep up from crumbling under the pressure of life. When life offers you help, it is a sign of synchronicity. It means that the universe is listening to you and your higher self is trying to help you. If you are just a bit gracious enough to accept help, it would make your life just a little bit more tolerable and for many of us, that’s a lot! ❤️